New job woes

When you start a new job, you want to make a good impression. You want to show them they didn't make a mistake in hiring you. That you're as good as you said you were.

You have all these ideas, things you think will be great, plans to standardize things, etc.

Then someone rams your face in the wall.  " Can you show her how you do this because it's nicer."  It's not really, but it's familiar so it's nicer for them.

So once again I'm having a crises of confidence. Will they fire me like they did the last EA? Do I suck?

* bangs head against desk *

Dear Clueless husbands...

If your normally chatty wife hasn't said more than ten words to you tonight.  She's pissed.  If you ask what's going wrong and she says nothing, it's not.

Sometimes we're pissed and we don't want to give you an easy way out.  We want you to think about possibly why we're pissed.  Put some thought into it.

Why am I mad?

I come home last night after working a 12 hour day, you didn't take the garbage out, which means it'll pile up til next week.  Tonight I get home 45 minutes late because I had to stop at CVS to pick up medication for our child.  I get home, check to see if boys did homework, cook dinner, make copies of 3 years worth of tax returns for YOUR meeting this week, finish making dinner, WHILE putting away all the dishes in the dishwasher, while you sit on your ass and chat with your buddies on Google +.

How about you get off your ass and do something around here?  Maybe that's why I'm pissed.  And really, if you tore yourself away from Google for 5 minutes and replayed the last two days, you'd figure it out.  Why should I make it easier on you to do the right thing?

Get out the big girl panties....

I've been accused ALOT of not having sympathy for other people. 

Someone's sick, I feel bad for them, but depending on the nature of the sickness, at some point, quit complaining, get back to living.  Someone's tired, so what I'm tired too.  Someone hates their job, I hate mine too.

I guess part of it is my upbringing.  My father was famous for the phrase "Grab it and Growl."  The summation is I know you're not happy about doing it, but it needs done anyway, just get it done already.

I guess my brain has taken this reasoning too far.

The joys of social media.  My husband and I are both on Google +.  He uses it alot, me not so much.  But alot of his friends follow me.

Tonight I learn from Google that he's reading a book on improving his marriage and that one of his fears is telling me something and I'll pull away from him.

Gee thanks honey.

I don't like what it says about me.  But on the other hand, after mulling it around in my head for the last hour or so I've come to some responses.  None of these I could ever say to him, for then being labeled precisely the un-caring she-bitch I'm called.

1. You're not happy in the marriage?  Welcome new member to the group!  I haven't been for awhile, but I've been busy raising children, working long hours at a job that I hated and hated me back to make money to help support our family, I have a son with Aspergers who demands more energy than anyone could believe, and I've lost one of my best friends in my life.  I don't have time to obsess and dwell and think about how much our marriage sucks.  We're not at each other's throats, we get along pretty well, just keep going.
2. I haven't made the marriage what it's become on my own.  You're not exactly a joy to live with.  
3. And mainly.... I'm exhausted.  Physically and mentally.  I don't have time to worry about feelings. I don't have time to worry about what I don't have.  My life will never be perfect.  All I want is for it not to be miserable.  I have too many demands on my time and energy to worry about feelings.  If you have that time, fine, do it, but leave me alone.  

 Get out the big girl panties and put them on, don't slow me down, keep up, eyes on the ball.