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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Get out the big girl panties....

I've been accused ALOT of not having sympathy for other people. 

Someone's sick, I feel bad for them, but depending on the nature of the sickness, at some point, quit complaining, get back to living.  Someone's tired, so what I'm tired too.  Someone hates their job, I hate mine too.

I guess part of it is my upbringing.  My father was famous for the phrase "Grab it and Growl."  The summation is I know you're not happy about doing it, but it needs done anyway, just get it done already.

I guess my brain has taken this reasoning too far.

The joys of social media.  My husband and I are both on Google +.  He uses it alot, me not so much.  But alot of his friends follow me.

Tonight I learn from Google that he's reading a book on improving his marriage and that one of his fears is telling me something and I'll pull away from him.

Gee thanks honey.

I don't like what it says about me.  But on the other hand, after mulling it around in my head for the last hour or so I've come to some responses.  None of these I could ever say to him, for then being labeled precisely the un-caring she-bitch I'm called.
  1. You're not happy in the marriage?  Welcome new member to the group!  I haven't been for awhile, but I've been busy raising children, working long hours at a job that I hated and hated me back to make money to help support our family, I have a son with Aspergers who demands more energy than anyone could believe, and I've lost one of my best friends in my life.  I don't have time to obsess and dwell and think about how much our marriage sucks.  We're not at each other's throats, we get along pretty well, just keep going.
  2. I haven't made the marriage what it's become on my own.  You're not exactly a joy to live with.  
  3. And mainly.... I'm exhausted.  Physically and mentally.  I don't have time to worry about feelings. I don't have time to worry about what I don't have.  My life will never be perfect.  All I want is for it not to be miserable.  I have too many demands on my time and energy to worry about feelings.  If you have that time, fine, do it, but leave me alone.  
 Get out the big girl panties and put them on, don't slow me down, keep up, eyes on the ball.

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