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Friday, December 7, 2012

Another Day Older and Deeper in Debt...

Today is my 38th birthday.  The world still turns, life still goes on...

This is sort of my yearly look back at my life.  I've had a rough year this year.  Being unemployed since March hasn't been easy.  But in some ways, I think this time was much needed in my life.

I had a chance to finally decompress after the last three years.  Time to slow down, time to re-prioritize,  time to refocus myself.

Being the ambitious person I am, I always wanted to succeed, go further, do more.  In the last year I've learned that my children are my top priority in life.  I've realized that I have sacrificed alot of my time the last three years on my career, and not them.  When they needed me most, after losing their grandmother.

Spending the summer with them, we had a chance to reconnect.  We did fun things. We spent time together. I reminded them every day that I loved them more than anything. I think I was able to finally connect with them, without the specter of my mom being gone and feeling guilty that I abandoned them when she died by withdrawing into my safe area.

We had a fantastic time in Disney World.  Watching them still in awe of the characters, still believing in them, watching the excitement on their faces.

Spending the time needed to work on getting my sons the support they need in school, making people listen, learning the options available, becoming a better advocate for the boys.

And spending the time to work on me.  Doing physical therapy to try to eliminate these debilitating pains, taking to someone to get my head clearer.

The past year was about figuring myself out, fixing my priorities, working on myself.

Now what the coming year will hold, let's just see!

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