When did I grow up?

From the time you're a child, you're told wait til you grow up.

When you're a child, you count down days til your birthday.  You're not merely 6, you're 6 and 3/4. We had a tradition.  Mom and Dad would take me out to dinner in Frederick, we'd go to the mall, and I'd get my picture with Santa.

Then at some point, we grow up.

I was reminded of this 2 years ago on my birthday.  I worked all day, went to the grocery store to pick up the cake I had to order for myself, went to the pizza place to pick up pizza, and then came home.  I was immediately greeted by an excited 4 year old, who came running to me and yelling Happy Birthday Mommy....and threw up on me.

That was when I knew I was grown up. 

This year, tomorrow I'll be 37.  I'm sick, hubby is sick, I'm in pain with an eye problem that's going to get worse as I age, and my birthday will be spent at a Xmas party for boy scouts, and awaiting snow.  No dinner out with mommy and daddy, no Santa.

I love my family.  But for some reason this year, I miss when I was a kid.  I miss the excitement.  Having people REMEMBER it's my birthday, sing happy birthday to me, go out to my favorite restaurant with mommy and daddy, Santa.

When did I grow up?  Can I go back to being a kid?