Tomorrow my babies turn six.
Six years ago tonight, I was laying in bed, freaking out. Thinking I wasn't ready to be a mommy. How the heck was I going to take care of one baby, much less two. Am I going to suck as a mommy.
Six years later, Jamie's lost two teeth, they're in kindergarten, both incredibly smart, incredibly cute, incredibly mine.
It hasn't been easy. In fact, this year has been a rough year in parenting...finding out about Jamie having Aspergers, trying to get things settled at school for him, trying to keep up with the moving target. Trying to get Iain to stop day dreaming and do his work, seeing just how stubborn that blonde boy can be.
When I'm having a bad day, worrying about the boys, brooding about not feeling good, brooding about my mom, there's always the thought of ways my life could have been different.
But one thing that never changes... my babies. I couldn't imagine one day without them in my life. When they overwhelm me, they surprise me.
Last night I was in pain because of my root canal, and Jamie came over twice to rub my arm and say "Don't worry mommy, we'll get your mouth to stop hurting." Today Iain told me "I love you mommy."
I never knew the love that could exist between a parent and a child. These boys are my life. I'd die for them. I want to do everything I can to help them succeed, to know that they're loved and supported.
Happy Birthday my babies. Mommy loves you.